The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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