I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
