yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
