I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wanna passion pit in your ass
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
