I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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