You work out of a Hotel?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
