Sry I called you an 8
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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