Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
