Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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