why didn't you poke me back
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
