The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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