Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
