My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
