nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
