if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
