I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Randomize
