he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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