it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
