he shaved USA in his pubs
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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