have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
