At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
