It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
