why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
