I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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