no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
two words...techno handjob
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
