I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
