Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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