i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
As shirtless as possible
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
