were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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