this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We are all done wearing pants today
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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