I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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