Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
