He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
