No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
