Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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