I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize