We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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