We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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