Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
