I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think I am morally bankrupt
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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