I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
