Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My feet surprised me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
