Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
