That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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