My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
