I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
