I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
