super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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