Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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