my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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