sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
