C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
