I accidentally had phone sex last night
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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