i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
