Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
