He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
