I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
