Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
