apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
