I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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