one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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