HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
